Last week in my blog I shared with you the 3 relationship goals you need to set for this year, you can read it on my website, www.thehappinesscouch.com/blog if you missed it. As is the case with many goals, new year resolutions or intentions, obstacles come along that knock us off course. So let’s have a look at the most common ones that might get in the way of you achieving your 3 goals.
In a nutshell, the number one obstacle stopping you from achieving your relationship goals is LIFE, yep, life has a habit of getting in the way. You plan a date night, then the kids are sick, so you give it a miss. Working late, being too tired, and financial and family issues can all take priority over your date night and before you know it, it has been months since you went out just the two of you. Sound familiar?
The reason why many couples go away for the weekend or on holiday to rekindle their relationship is because they are removing the drama of ‘life’ from the situation. Sadly, we can’t always be on holiday.
If we look at the obstacles in more detail we will see that priority, time and financial issues are the main culprits.
So how do you overcome these obstacles?
The easy answer would be to say no to the things that are getting in the way of your goals but unfortunately, saying no to your boss or spending money you don’t have on a holiday or a night out isn’t easy.
Here are some solutions
- Try and prioritise your relationship as much as you can by setting boundaries. For example, saying no to family popping in or having a no phone policy during dinner or when catching up with each other.
- If you regularly work late on your date night then move your date night to a different day or use point 3
- If time is an issue, then instead of trying to find the time for a 2/3 hour date night then break it down into smaller chunks; 10, 20, or 30 minutes each day or every other day.
- Financial constraints don’t have to be a deal breaker, it just takes a little bit of thinking outside of the box and some creativity. Handmade gifts, for example, are always a winner.
So picking up on my last point, let me give you a final tip – Be creative and add some fun to your goals!
Instead of an expensive meal out, cook your favourite meal or create a tasting session at home. A carpet picnic can be very romantic with some subtle lighting and music.
If time is an issue then a coffee date, a walk in the park or even a quick cuddle or a kiss can be fitted into a short space of time.
If you want to add a bit of variety and inject some fun then write suggestions on a piece of paper, fold them up and place them in a jar. You could have different colours for different time slots. When you plan your next date night or 10 minute catch-up, take turns picking one out of the jar and do it!
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